RSS Feed

Monday, August 30, 2010

THE MOUSE - FOR WOMEN ONLY :-)

After years of research, scientists have discovered that women do not like the standard mouse supplied with PCs. Scientists found that there is no physical reason for their aversion it is more of a psychological problem.


Some women reported that their mouse "just didn't feel right" in their hands.

Based on the research, a new mouse has been designed especially for women.

Various field tests have been carried out on the new design.

Julie from Hounslow said, "It feels so much better. More comfortable, more like how it's supposed to be.'

Susan from Chelmsford added, 'I think mice were originally designed just for men, but this new type is definitely made for women. It fits right with my lifestyle.'

Hillary from Kent said, 'I took it like a duck to water, every women should have one!'

Sally from London said, "It feels so natural."


Have a nice day everyone! Cheers!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

NEW RULES FOR THE WORK PLACE

I hope this will jump start your morning! Shhh! Don't laugh too loudly later ok? Have a great week! Do swing by later for the next post. Thanks!
__________________________________________



To all Employees

Effective 1st September 2010

Dress Code

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If wee see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay rise.

2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage you money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay rise.

3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay rise.

Sick Days


We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Holiday Days

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

Compassionate Leave

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for the dead friends, relatives and co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employee attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use *Smiles*

1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.

2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Simple Pleasures for Better Living

It has been a very stressful day as today is the 18th day of this year fasting month (Ramadhan) for a Muslim like me. Therefore, I would like to share with all my friends the following post to highlight some points for everyone of us to ponder ...


A ctive ageing - Keep your body fit and mind active and you'll age gracefully. No one is too old to exercise and no task is too difficult.

B eatitude - Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourns, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed  are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

C ash - It is not the basis for happiness but it is necessity. Make sure you save regularly and ensure you have at least 6 months' income for any emergencies.

D reams - All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

E xplore - Pick up a new activity and you will be pleasantly surprised at the new experience. Go into the jungle to enjoy the serenity of nature or just relax at the seaside to enjoy the roar of the ocean.

F amily - Nothing is more important than kinship. Stay connected with your loved ones. Tell those around you how much they meant to you. Give them a hug and tell them you love them now not when they are no longer around.
FAMILY (Father And Mother I Love You)

G oals - Set new resolutions for yourself every year and achieve them! Having goals keeps you motivated and on the path to self improvement. When you decide upon a goal, you override your failure mechanism and change the direction of your life.

H ome sweet home - Home is where the heart is. Do ensure that you have mortgage protection to safeguard your loved ones because life's unexpected events can throw you off the track if you're unprepared.

I nvest - One way to supplement your savings is to grow your investment portfolio. Know the risk appetite and invest in the right tools. Property and land can never be a wrong choice but ensure that it is right at the place!

J og - Jogging is not just an effective way to fight the flab and stay active, it is also a great way to have some "me-time".

K iss - A kiss can burn calories! Plus it is a great way to foster bonding and intimacy with those you love.

L aughter - Laughter is one of the best medicines! A good laugh is beneficial for the soul and brings merry cheer to those around you. Learn to laugh at yourself and don't take things too seriously.

M usic - Listening to music is a simple form of enjoyment that can be extremely therapeutic. Dance along to the latest hip hop, chill out with lounge tunes or sing along to popular hits. Music is to the soul what food is to the body.

N ational Day - Happy 53rd Birthday Malaysia! Be proud of our independent day despite the fact that we may not be proud of the ruling regime to date. May God blesses all those that seek for peace.

O ptimism - Take life with a light-hearted and positive approach. A lot depends on your perspective so if you are optimistic, that's half the battle won. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

P rotection - Make sure you are well-protected. Adequate life insurance is important as we need to ensure that those living is not burdened by debts. Insurance is not for the dying but for those living.

Q uality not Quantity - Strive for quality in whatever you do, It is not how much that matters, it is how good it is. You never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.

R est and Relax - Take time off to smell the roses or indulge in something you enjoy doing together as a family. Give your mind and body that well-deserved break,

S eize the Day - Basically live each day to the fullest by doing what matters most to you. For we come this way but once. Success without purpose is life without meaning. Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all he can do.

T ravel - Make the world your playground! Go diving in the Sipadan, go on a safari adventure in South Africa or explore the mysterious Antarctica. Nothing can be more exciting than exploring the unknown with you loved ones.

U undertand - See to understand the different views and mindsets of the people around you. This will create greater harmony between ourselves and the world.

V olunteer work - Take time off from your busy schedule to help the less fortunate. Helping others can warm your heart and make life even more meaningful. Touching and changing lives is far better than leaving a legacy engraved in stone.

W ealth - Accumulate your wealth, not just in monetary sense but expand your wealth of knowledge and experiences.

X traordinary - Do something very special today for loved one. Cook a special meal, write a poem or serenade with a sweet song. The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best which is within us.

Y earn - To learn a new skill in order to touch and to teach those under privileged and marginalized. You don't have to be great to start but you have to start to be great.

Z est for Life - You never know what will happen tomorrow and we only live once. So, be happy and live life to its fullest! Life offers no guarantees, just choices; no certainty but consequences; no predictable outcomes, just the privilege of pursuit.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

No matter what, you must NOT ...

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day!

This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.

He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" he asked.

She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"

"Let me see" he said.

"Okay" and she pulled up her skirt.

He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken."

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.

He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"

She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.

She said "Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the neck and the gizzards!!!:-)


Posted for humor and not to insult anyone. My apologies if anyone finds this offensive.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What Job Adverts Really Mean :-)

Advertisements tend to make jobs appear more attractive that what they are in reality. Here is a list of what could be the hidden messages posted just for laughs so please do not take this seriously. Take care, smile a lot and have a nice day!

"Competitive Salary" means we remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.

"Join our fast-paced company" i.e. We have no time to train you.

"Casual work atmosphere" also means we don't pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"Some overtime required" means some every night and some every weekend.

"Duties will vary" i.e. to say anyone in the office can boss you around.

"Must have an eye for detail" could be saying we have no quality assurance.

"Career-minded" could be a sexiest slant meaning female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"Apply in person" could mean that if you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told that the position has been filled.

"Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience" means you'll need in to replace the three people who just quit.

"Problem-solving skills a must" could hint that you're walking into perpetual chaos.

"Requires team leadership skills" that is to say you'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"Good communication skills" could means that when the management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


Cheers everyone!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The A to Z of Marital Humor

Try this one ... the A - Z to arouse your wife's attention  ... or suspicion....

A Act stupid in front of her while she's watching her favorite TV program
B Behave like you're the housemaid
C Call her sweetheart every 5 minutes for no reason
D Dress like Valentino when you said you're going to the doctor's
E Eat food that you've always hated or had never eaten before
F Forget her birthday (and you die ....)
G Give free evening math tuition to the foxy neighbor
H Hand her $10,000 and whisper, "Happy Birthday" when it is not
I I'm tired ... some other night, sweetheart?
J Just stare at her when she's doing her make-up
K Kiss her toes when she's polishing her finger nails
L Last minute company meeting .... "I won't be home till 4 a.m."
M Make her feel like she's Miss Universe
N Nibble at her ear while she's washing clothes
O Offer to help the foxy neighbor fix her "plumbing problem".
P Pass the wrong remarks about the mother-in-law's table manners
Q Question her "extravagant" shopping when she just got home with 5 giant shopping bags
R Request for Chubb Safe key
S Sneak out when you thought she's asleep
T Tell her she's fat when she's talking to foxy neighbor at the lift
U Use her toiletries without her permission
V Voice your true opinion about her hair style/color
W Walk the dog at 3 a.m. every night
X Xtra-ordinary expenses on credit card statement
Y Young and sexy voice on the phone saying, "Wrong Number" always

And finally ....

Z Zip your mouth when she asks you "When is our wedding anniversary?"

Have a nice day everyone!

Monday, August 23, 2010

UNDERSTANDING MEN AND WOMEN:-)

To all women: On behalf of all men I would like to clarify a few points:


*The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.

*Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.

*When watching TV, hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.

*When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.

*If you need me with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.

*If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.
*If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.

*I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.

*Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. After all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.

*Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.

*If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.

*I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.

*Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.

Thank you for your understanding,
From all men.
__________________________________________


The Female Stages of Life

Favorite drink:
Age 17: Wine Coolers
Age 25: White wine
Age 35: Red wine
Age 48: Dom Perignon
Age 66: Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

Excuses for refusing dates:

Age 17: Need to wash my hair
Age 25: Need to wash and condition my hair
Age 35: Need to color my hair
Age 48: Need to have Francois color my hair
Age 66: Need to have Francois color my wig

Favorite sport:
Age 17: Shopping
Age 25: Shopping
Age 35: Shopping
Age 48: Shopping
Age 66: Shopping

Definition of successful date:
Age 17: "Burger King"
Age 25: "Free meal"
Age 35: "A diamond"
Age 48: "A bigger diamond"
Age 66: "Home Alone"

Favorite fantasy:
Age 17: tall, dark and handsome
Age 25: tall, dark and handsome with money
Age 35: tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
Age 48: a man with hair (preferably not on back)
Age 66: a man

Pet:

Age 17: Muffy the cat
Age 25: Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
Age 35: Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
Age 48: Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
Age 66: Retired husband dabbles is taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the Cat

Ideal age for marriage:
Age 17: 17
Age 25: 25
Age 35: 35
Age 48: 48
Age 66: 66

Ideal date:
Age 17: He offers to pay
Age 25: He pays
Age 35: He cooks breakfast the next morning
Age 48: He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
Age 66: He can chew breakfast

Keep smiling and have a lovely evening!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Sunday's Music Videos - A Collection Of Thai Song

I hope most of you enjoyed my Saturday's music. However, I feel badly for My Angel that had a misfortune this evening. Therefore, to cheer her and all my friends, I decided to post a collection of Thai songs that can cheer up My Angel and  all my other friends.


Here are the videos for Sunday. All videos are with English subtitles, so enjoy everybody and cheers!

Boy Peacemaker - Garn Plien Plang



Potato - Kon Soot Tai



Bowling - Tee Kid Teung...Praw Ruk Tur Chai Mai



Da Endorphine - Yah Bauk Wah Mai Mee Krai


Ice Saranyu & Rose Sirintip - Perhaps love



Bird Thongchai - Tur Kon Diow


Buachompoo Ford - Love Message


Marsha - In Love


Panadda Ruangwut - Lom Now Lae Dow Deuan


Sirasak - Sut Tah Nai Ruk



Yarinda - Kae Dai Kid Teung

Friday, August 20, 2010

My Music For The Weekend

Tomorrow is Saturday and for this weekend I had chosen some awesome music that I admired most. Apart from entertainment these musics are also for relaxation as many of my friends especially My Angel will be sitting for her most important exams. Therefore, enjoy the music and have a great and productive weekend! Cheers!

Carabao - Bua Loy


 Kitaro - Matsuri


Enigma - Return To Innocence



Enya - We are free now



Schiiler - I Miss You



Enigma - Gravity Of Love with lyrics 


Yanni - If I Could Tell You

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Frequently, Infrequently or In-Frequently?

An elderly couple, who had long lost their spouses, had been going out with each other for a longtime. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. 


Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. 

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently', she replied. 

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, thought long and hard, then leaned over towards her and whispered, 'is that one word or two?'

*Posted for humor and not to insult or offend anyone.

Have a nice day everyone! Keep smiling and do swing by later for the next post. Cheers!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever!

Let’s face it – we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments. Just be thankful that none of them were as humiliating (and hilarious!) as these:


"A mother was taking a shower when her 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"


"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."


"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’


An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, "Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?" She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, "I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments." The cunning guy now yells loudly, "What do you mean by $500?"

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How To Live Stresslessly....

I hope this post will make you smile and have a happy start to the new day! Take care and enjoy life and all that it offers us...cheers!

How To Live Stresslessly.... 



1. Chances are - If you think that a woman is beautiful, she will always have a husband, or a boy-friend - to prove it!

2. Chances are - The more beautiful a woman is, the greater the chances that, she may dump you!

3. Chances are - The more make-up a woman wears - she may look proportionately uglier!

4. Chances are - The man standing next to a beautiful woman and chatting with her, may not be her brother!

5. Chances are - if the woman who you like, likes you back, she may let you know about her interest in you, after you are married to another lady!

6. Chances are - The more you ignore a woman, the more she would be interested in you!

7. Chances are - The more you chase a woman, the faster she would run away from you!

8. Chances are - The more you like a woman, the more her father will dislike you!

9. Chances are - the number of bullets in the gun owned by the father of a woman you like, maybe directly proportional to the extent of your interest in her daughter!

10. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her  friend will come and meet her!

11. Chances are - when you get a woman to be alone with you, her friend who comes to meet her, will be a handsome and very exciting male hunk!

12. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you are most badly dressed!

13. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day, you forgot to brush your teeth!

14. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you forgot to wear body deodorant!

15. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have an itch problem!

16. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you have a gas problem in your tummy!

17. Chances are - the day, the woman whom you like comes to talk to you, that may be the day when, you ex-girl friend comes to re-concile with you!

18. Only 35% of the women in this world are supposed to be beautiful. Chances are that, it is only the balance 65%, who may be in your company!

Hope you had a good laugh..... 

Monday, August 16, 2010

A Time To Believe ....

This weekend my beloved angel is going to sit for final examinations for her Master's Degree. She has been studying so hard to achieve her ambitions. With only a few more days left, I would like to offer my encouragements as to motivate her towards success. Here is a poem specially for my beautiful angel.

A Time To Believe  

To believe is to know that
every day is a new beginning.
Is to trust that miracles happen,
and dreams really do come true.


To believe is to see angels
dancing among the clouds,
To know the wonder of a stardust sky
and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
The innocence of a child's eyes
and the beauty of an aging hand,
for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength
and courage that lies within us
When it's time to pick up
the pieces and begin again.

To believe is to know
we are not alone,
That life is a gift
and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know
that wonderful surprises are just
waiting to happen,
And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

If only we believe.


by: B.J. Morbitzer

24 Things To Always Remember

Your presence is a present to the world.
You are unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time. 

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You will make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong. 

Do not put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and you prize. 

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.
Do not take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets. 

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot … goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasure are people together. 

Realize that it is never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have hearth and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a start. 

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET ….
FOR EVEN A DAY
HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE !

Sunday, August 15, 2010

A Friend...

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffer support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)-plains thing you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality

The Unpolished Diamond

How a person reacts to criticism often means the difference between success and failure. Take the case of Ole Bull, the famous Norwegian violinist of the past century. 



His practical father, a chemist, sent him to the University of Christiania to study for the ministry and forbade him to play his beloved violin. He promptly flunked out and, defying his father, devoted all his time and energy to the violin. Unfortunately, though he had great ability, his teachers were relatively unskilled, so that by the time he was ready to start his concert tour he wasn't prepared. 

In Italy a Milan newspaper critic wrote: "He is an untrained musician. If he be a diamond, he is certainly in the rough and unpolished."  




  

There were two ways Ole Bull could have reacted to that criticism. He could have let it make him angry, or he could learn from it. Fortunately he chose the latter. He went to the newspaper office and asked to see the critic. The astounded editor introduced him. Ole spent the evening with the 70-year-old critic, asked about his faults, and sought the older man's advice on how to correct them. 
 
Then he canceled the rest of his tour, returned home, and spent the next six months studying under really able teachers. He practiced hours upon hours to overcome his faults. Finally, he returned to his concerts and, when only 26, became the sensation of Europe.


- Author Unknown -


* If some politicians in our country could react positively to criticisms. Our country would be a better place to live in with more positivism, accountability, transparency and equality.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

THANKS FOR BEING THERE

This piece is for a special person who give me a new hope and joy. I  admire her courage and ambition as it reflects what I used to be years ago while I am still studying. In a week, it will be her turn facing the final test to get her Master's Degree. I wish her good luck and all the best. With efforts that she has been showing, I strongly believe she will make it comfortably. The only thing that I can offer is my prayer for her success. Therefore I wrote this as my appreciation to her.


THANKS FOR BEING THERE
Thanks for being, you,
Thanks for giving me the joys and smiles from day one,
Thanks for helping me enjoy the atmosphere here.
THANKS FOR BEING THERE

Thanks for correcting me when I was wrong,
Thanks for helping me follow the guidelines to survive,
Thanks for helping me try and cope with people around,
Thanks for giving me the courage to stand up on my own.

Thanks for all the advices,
Thanks for lending me your ears when I was upset,
Thanks for teaching me ways to hold on to the end,
Thanks for the love and care you showed.

Thanks for the wishes you have for me,
Thanks for the prayers you pray for me,
Thanks for the candles that you lit for me,

Thanks for the appreciation,
Thanks for not keeping a fence between,
Thanks for the confidence you have in me,

I will miss you and all the funny things you ever did,
The little naughty things you ever said,

I wish you the very best for you future endevour,
Thanks once again for everything.

With lots of love and prayers.


Haidi

Dated 12/8/2010

Segmental Bridges

Design and Construction of Segmental Bridges in Areas of High Seismicity

Key design and construction challenges to providing robust seismic performance in precast and cast-in-place segmental concrete structures are illustrated in this article, using recent projects that incorporate the rigorous seismic design requirements first implemented by California in the 1990s as examples.

Key design and construction challenges to providing robust seismic performance in precast and cast-in-place segmental concrete structures are illustrated in this article, using recent projects that incorporate the rigorous seismic design requirements first implemented by California in the 1990s as examples.

Segmental structures have unique design and construction issues related to seismic reliability, whether they are cast-in-place or precast. Experience with performance-based design criteria for seismic loading conditions and recent California Department of Transportation/American Segmental Bridge Institute (Caltrans/ASBI)-sponsored testing of precast elements for seismic loads have provided us with design approaches for achieving this reliability while maintaining the cost and schedule benefits of segmental construction.

This article begins with a discussion of the basic principles of the current design philosophy for seismic design of bridges, namely the “capacity-based” approach, as a point of reference. Next, two projects are discussed to illustrate the most recent approaches to two of the three different design methods and construction of segmental bridges in high seismic zones. The third approach, cast-in-place segmental bridges, is discussed in another article, “Design of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Bridge over the James River” by Taka Kimura, Victor Ryzhikov, and Joe Showers. Finally, the results of the most recent large scale tests of precast segmental structural elements conducted at the University of California at San Diego and sponsored by Caltrans and ASBI are summarized.

Implementation of Seismic Design

Capacity-Based Design Approach. Recently published state-of-the-practice seismic design codes, guidelines and criteria for bridges are based on a design approach that focuses on forcing a predetermined element to fuse. The fuse is typically a structural fuse in the column, although it can also be directed to other elements, such as bearings. For this article, attention is confined to cases with structural hinging in the column, commonly referred to as the “plastic hinge,” where the column undergoes controlled inelastic action at the base or top through multiple cycles and continues to maintain axial load carrying capacity.

As a result, other primary elements of the structure, such as the superstructure and foundation, are designed for loads that are based on the plastic capacity of the column. These elements, referred to as “capacity-protected,” must be designed with considerable overstrength to achieve the desired behavior in a reliable manner, thus preventing damage to elements except the column.

Following the load path that is established by the plastic action of the column under cyclic loading conditions, the superstructure must be designed to resist loads that otherwise would not be accounted for from the design of the structure for service loads (dead loads, live loads, etc.). For segmental structures, this results in consideration of the column-to-superstructure connection and the behavior of the superstructure girders, deck and joints when subjected to tension, positive moment at the connection, and opening of the joints between segmental sections. 


Precast Segmental Bridges with Integral Connections: “Spaghetti Bowl”

In developing a design for concrete box girder structures, the Nevada Department of Transportation (NDOT) wished to follow the design configuration typically used by Caltrans on cast-in-place concrete structures, namely the continuous superstructure with integral connections to the column (Figure 1). 

Figure 1: Spaghetti Bowl, Las Vegas, Nevada.

This approach provides for a very reliable structure, but also requires a column-to-superstructure connection consistent with the capacity-based design approach. This project was the first to apply capacity-based design to precast segmental structure with integral column-to-superstructure connections. Use of the precast segmental structure type resulted in design issues common to all structures subject to seismic loads and also issues unique to this structure type. These issues included the following:


WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS WOMEN?

My note titled WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN? generated a lot of interest and debate so to be fair, I am posting this one just for laughs. Again no offense meant to any women! Smile a lot and have a lovely day!



A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".

Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.

Women will always ask question that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling quilty.

Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.

If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear the same thing twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.

Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility.

Women do not know anything about cars. "Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?".

The average numbers of items in a typical woman bathroom is 437. A man would only be able to identify most of these items.

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

A woman will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.

Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.

Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.

If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?".

Only women understand the reason for "guest towels" and the "good china".

The good girls keep the diaries, the bad girls never have the time.

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, the look. When a woman gets up people look: then, if they like what they see, they listen.

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

Personally, I think if a woman hasn't met the right man by the time she's 24, she may be lucky.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknessess, women for their strenghts.

Being a parent is tough. If you just want a wonderful little creature to love, you can get a puppy.

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love; which includes not only others but ourselves as well.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question.

Have a nice day and keep smiling!